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They Met in the Dark- (0)
13:55 - 15:45 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1943. Mystery. Director: Karel Lamac. Stars: James Mason, Joyce Howard, Tom Walls. During WW2, a Royal Navy Commander stumbles upon a murdered woman and discovers a network of Nazi spies


Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- (2005)
14:40 - 15:45 - ITV 2
6.6/10 Stars

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After Batman and Planet of the Apes, Tim Burton continues to rewrite a generation's childhood with a new adaptation of Roald Dahl's much-loved book. A fashionable but superfluous backstory aside, Burton sticks faithfully to the text: poverty-stricken Charlie Bucket (Finding Neverland's Freddie Highmore, the film's heart) is one of five competition winners on a guided tour of Willy Wonka's sweet factory. Johnny Depp's camp, childlike Wonka - weirdly reminiscent of Michael Jackson - is fun but ultimately too distant to recapture the love generated by Gene Wilder in the original. The production design looks good enough to eat, however, and it is here that Burton exposes the technical limitations of the once-definitive 1971 musical, employing computer animation to dazzling effect. Dahl's trademark black humour remains, but ultimately this can't decide if it's a timeless fairy tale or, with its video games, S&M and MTV-influenced dance routines, a modern parable.


Carry On Nurse- (1959)
14:50 - 16:35 - Film 4
6.4/10 Stars

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This second film in the Carry On series overdoses on bedpan, large needle and inedible food gags, but, as most of them are funny, no one will mind in the slightest. Hattie Jacques is superb as the bullying matron whose clipped supervision of nurses Shirley Eaton and Joan Sims prompts Kenneth Connor, Leslie Phillips and Kenneth Williams to give her a taste of her own medicine, while Wilfrid Hyde White has fun as a lecherous colonel in a private ward. It's loosely based on a forgotten play called Ring for Catty.


Oceans Rising- (2017)
15:00 - 16:45 - Horror Channel
0.0/10 Stars

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When the authorities fail to heed his warnings that a cataclysmic flood is imminent, a scientist takes action - by constructing a gigantic ark. (2017)


Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves- (1991)
15:05 - 17:10 - Channel 5
0.0/10 Stars

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Channel 5 90s Weekend. Legendary romantic adventure starring Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman. A nobleman turned outlaw wages guerrilla warfare against the tyrannical Sheriff of Nottingham. (1991)


Genevieve- (1953)
15:45 - 17:30 - Talking Pictures
5.6/10 Stars

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Two rival motoring enthusiasts engage in a friendly race on the way back from the London-to-Brighton veteran car rally. However, their light-hearted attitude turns into heated competition as they approach the finishing line, with their friendship seemingly doomed - while their long-suffering other halves have to contend with their obsession. Comedy, starring Dinah Sheridan, John Gregson, Kenneth More and Kay Kendall.


Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- (2005)
15:50 - 17:00 - ITV 2
6.6/10 Stars

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After Batman and Planet of the Apes, Tim Burton continues to rewrite a generation's childhood with a new adaptation of Roald Dahl's much-loved book. A fashionable but superfluous backstory aside, Burton sticks faithfully to the text: poverty-stricken Charlie Bucket (Finding Neverland's Freddie Highmore, the film's heart) is one of five competition winners on a guided tour of Willy Wonka's sweet factory. Johnny Depp's camp, childlike Wonka - weirdly reminiscent of Michael Jackson - is fun but ultimately too distant to recapture the love generated by Gene Wilder in the original. The production design looks good enough to eat, however, and it is here that Burton exposes the technical limitations of the once-definitive 1971 musical, employing computer animation to dazzling effect. Dahl's trademark black humour remains, but ultimately this can't decide if it's a timeless fairy tale or, with its video games, S&M and MTV-influenced dance routines, a modern parable.


Back to the Future- (1985)
16:35 - 18:50 - Film 4
7.8/10 Stars

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This irresistible combination of dazzling effects and sly comedy propelled Michael J Fox to stardom and Robert Zemeckis to the front rank of Hollywood directors. And time has not robbed it of any of its vitality. Fox plays the young student who travels back in time to the 1950s and acts as matchmaker for his future parents, who are showing no sign of falling in love. It's beautifully played by the cast (honourable mentions to Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover), and makes the most of an ingenious script from Bob Gale and Zemeckis that finds time to poke fun at 50s icons and lifestyles between the bouts of time-travelling. Zemeckis's direction is equally adroit and he never lets the effects swamp the film.


Stonehenge Apocalypse- (2010)
16:45 - 18:35 - Horror Channel
1.9/10 Stars

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Archaeologists digging near Stonehenge unearth an ancient piece of machinery beneath the bedrock. Unaware of the danger, they accidentally trigger the mechanism and set in motion a chain of events that could lead to the end of the world. Sci-fi thriller, starring Misha Collins, Hill Harper, Torri Higginson and Peter Wingfield.


Shrek 2- (2004)
17:00 - 18:00 - ITV 2
6.6/10 Stars

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The grouchy ogre and his new wife Princess Fiona set out on a journey to meet her parents. However, the king and queen are less than impressed with their daughter's choice of husband, while a conniving fairy godmother is determined to make sure her own son gets to marry the princess. Animated adventure sequel, with the voices of Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Jennifer Saunders and Rupert Everett.


Beauty And The Beast - (2017)
17:30 - 19:30 - BBC 1
0.0/10 Stars

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Live-action retelling of the Disney classic, starring Emma Watson as a headstrong young woman imprisoned in the castle of a hideous beast. With Dan Stevens and Luke Evans. (2017)(124 mins) Also in HD


North West Frontier- (1959)
18:00 - 20:35 - Talking Pictures
6.6/10 Stars

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This cracking adventure is directed with great pace and precision by J Lee Thompson, and proves that an old-fashioned, all-action drama can still keep you on the edge of your seat without the benefit of flashy special effects. It could almost be called an "eastern", transplanting the old western plot of a railroad journey through hostile territory to turn-of-the-century India. Kenneth More gives an assured performance as the soldier entrusted with the safety of a Hindu prince, and he is given able support by Lauren Bacall (as the boy's no-nonsense nurse), the ever-reliable Wilfrid Hyde White and Herbert Lom.


Shrek 2- (2004)
18:05 - 18:45 - ITV 2
6.6/10 Stars

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The grouchy ogre and his new wife Princess Fiona set out on a journey to meet her parents. However, the king and queen are less than impressed with their daughter's choice of husband, while a conniving fairy godmother is determined to make sure her own son gets to marry the princess. Animated adventure sequel, with the voices of Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Jennifer Saunders and Rupert Everett.


Doomwatch- (1972)
18:35 - 20:30 - Horror Channel
7.0/10 Stars

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A spin-off from the modish ecological BBC TV series - a more fact-based version of The X-Files - this mystery thriller crash-landed unhappily in the swamp of horror instead of on the firmer ground of science fact or fiction. John Paul, Ian Bannen and Judy Geeson look suitably intense as an investigation into the effects of a sunken oil tanker on the inhabitants of an island off the Cornish coast uncovers something nastily mutated in the biological woodshed. It's risibly alarmist, certainly, but the environmental dangers it pinpoints are only too topical.

Back to the Future Part II- (1989)
18:45 - 19:45 - ITV 2
7.2/10 Stars

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After the success of the first time-travelling caper a sequel was inevitable, although this time around director Robert Zemeckis is guilty of gilding the lily. Stars Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd return from the original, along with Lea Thompson and Thomas F Wilson, but the script is too clever for its own good and the film gets bogged down by trying to cram in too many ideas and settings (past, future, alternative universes). The effects, however, are even better than in the first film, and the actors certainly enjoy themselves in a baffling array of roles.

Goodbye Christopher Robin- (2017)
18:50 - 21:00 - Film 4
0.0/10 Stars

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British drama charting the fraught relationship between Winnie-the-Pooh creator AA Milne and the son who inspired his writing. Domhnall Gleeson stars. (2017)(103 mins) Also in HD

Home Alone- (1990)
18:50 - 21:00 - E4
7.0/10 Stars

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This modest Christmas comedy became a phenomenal money-making machine, one of the highest grossing pictures of all time. Writer/producer John Hughes and director Chris Columbus tuned in to two key elements: the fantasy of Steven Spielberg's ET, with its children triumphing over adult adversity, and the perennial chase of Tom and Jerry cartoons. Thus Macaulay Culkin, then ten years old and already in his fifth picture, plays the youngster left stranded by his parents who fly to Paris for the holiday. He pigs out on junk food, watches videos and then copes heroically with two burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern), crying "Yes!" when he zaps them. Surprisingly violent in a cartoon-like way, it's a celebration of enterprise that captured the heart and wickedness of every child on the planet.

Back to the Future Part II- (1989)
19:50 - 21:00 - ITV 2
7.2/10 Stars

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After the success of the first time-travelling caper a sequel was inevitable, although this time around director Robert Zemeckis is guilty of gilding the lily. Stars Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd return from the original, along with Lea Thompson and Thomas F Wilson, but the script is too clever for its own good and the film gets bogged down by trying to cram in too many ideas and settings (past, future, alternative universes). The effects, however, are even better than in the first film, and the actors certainly enjoy themselves in a baffling array of roles.

Angels One Five- (1952)
20:35 - 22:35 - Talking Pictures
5.8/10 Stars

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A new recruit joins a squadron of British fighter pilots in the summer of 1940, as they prepare to face a confrontation with the overwhelming forces of the Luftwaffe over the English Channel, while the ground crew at their base anxiously await reports from the conflict. Second World War adventure, starring Jack Hawkins and John Gregson.

Chicago- (2002)
21:00 - 22:05 - 5*
6.7/10 Stars

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Two female jailbirds imprisoned for murder pull out all the stops to seize the attention of the media. Aided by a slick lawyer, both women are desperate to find fame and fortune and escape the death penalty by winning public sympathy. Musical, starring Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere, John C Reilly and Queen Latifah.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children- (2016)
21:00 - 23:30 - Film 4
0.0/10 Stars

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Asa Butterfield stars as a misfit teen who discovers an island orphanage that's home to children with very special gifts. Tim Burton directs. (2016)(122 mins) Also in HD

Pacific Rim: Uprising- (2018)
21:00 - 23:10 - Channel 4
0.0/10 Stars

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Sci-fi action sequel starring John Boyega as a once-promising Jaeger pilot given a shot at redemption when humanity comes under threat. (2018)(106 mins) Also in HD

A Good Marriage- (2014)
21:00 - 23:00 - Horror Channel
5.3/10 Stars

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A happily married couple celebrate their wedding anniversary, while the country is plunged into terror by a serial killer with a sadistic tendency to torture his victims before they die. When the husband goes away on business, the wife's cosy world is shattered when she discovers evidence that he is the murderer. Thriller, starring Joan Allen and Anthony LaPaglia.

Now You See Me- (2013)
21:00 - 23:15 - E4
7.3/10 Stars

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Four magicians use their lavish stage shows as cover for a series of seemingly impossible heists, and give away the money they steal to their audiences. An FBI agent assembles a team of experts to discover how the baffling robberies are committed and what the secret agenda behind the crime spree is. Crime thriller, starring Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson and Isla Fisher.

I, Tonya- (2017)
21:30 - 23:25 - BBC 2
0.0/10 Stars

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Darkly comic recreation of a sporting scandal. Seeking figure-skating success, Tonya Harding instead finds notoriety. [2017] [S] [HD]

Rambo- (2007)
22:00 - 23:55 - Dave
6.3/10 Stars

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The bandana-wearing one-man army has turned his back on violence to live a quiet life in Thailand. But before long he takes up arms once again to rescue a party of missionaries who have been taken captive en route to Burma by a sadistic military officer. Action sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. With Julie Benz and Graham McTavish.

Chicago- (2002)
22:10 - 23:15 - 5*
6.7/10 Stars

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Two female jailbirds imprisoned for murder pull out all the stops to seize the attention of the media. Aided by a slick lawyer, both women are desperate to find fame and fortune and escape the death penalty by winning public sympathy. Musical, starring Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere, John C Reilly and Queen Latifah.

The Deep- (1977)
22:35 - 01:05 - Talking Pictures
5.7/10 Stars

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A couple on holiday in Bermuda find drugs while diving on the wreck of a medical supplies ship, and when word reaches a Haitian crime lord, he coerces them into retrieving the lucrative cargo. However, a second dive also reveals an 18th-century galleon laden with treasure, which they are determined to keep a secret. Adventure, with Robert Shaw, Nick Nolte, Jacqueline Bisset, Louis Gossett Jr and Eli Wallach.

Victor Crowley- (2017)
23:00 - 00:35 - Horror Channel
0.0/10 Stars

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The survivors of a plane crash come up against a resurrected Victor Crowley in his swamp home. Fourth instalment in the Hatchet series, with horror legend Kane Hodder. (2017)(80 mins) Also in HD

Behind Enemy Lines- (2001)
23:10 - 01:05 - Channel 4
5.9/10 Stars

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Owen Wilson takes a break from his more usual comedy roles here, playing a naval reconnaissance pilot who's shot down over Bosnia after inadvertently filming evidence of war crimes. Gene Hackman is the maverick admiral who battles Nato caution to find his flyboy before the pursuing Serbs get their hands on him. Former commercials director John Moore proves a dab hand at the action stuff - the sequence where Wilson is shot down is thrilling, edge-of-the-seat cinema - but, pyrotechnics aside, the rest of film is less enthralling and comprises Wilson running, stopping, getting shot at, and then running again. This is hardly surprising with such a dull script and characters. Hackman's bad-tempered naval commander in particular is so two-dimensional, he'd disappear if he turned sideways. A shame really because, if the rest of Behind Enemy Lines matched up to the action scenes, we'd be talking four-star material here.

Ingrid Goes West- (2017)
23:15 - 00:15 - 5*
0.0/10 Stars

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It's Single White Female for the smartphone generation as troubled thirtysomething Aubrey Plaza latches onto LA influencer Elizabeth Olsen... and won't let go. Dark comedy. (2017)(95 mins) Also in HD

Stonehearst Asylum- (2014)
23:30 - 01:45 - Film 4
6.6/10 Stars

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(2014) Jim Sturgess, Ben Kingsley and Kate Beckinsale star in a Gothic horror based on an Edgar Allan Poe tale. A medical graduate starts work at a cruel and disturbing mental asylum.

Oblivion- (2013)
00:00 - 01:00 - ITV 4
6.4/10 Stars

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A repairman is assigned to salvage the remaining resources from Earth, which has been left a devastated wasteland after a war with an alien race. He discovers a human survivor on the surface of the planet, an encounter that exposes secrets from the past that threaten the future of the human race. Sci-fi adventure, starring Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman.

Papadopoulos and Sons- (2012)
00:10 - 01:55 - BBC 1
0.0/10 Stars

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Comedy drama. After a financial market collapse, self-made millionaire Harry loses everything he has apart from an abandoned fish and chip shop. Contains some strong language. [HD] [2012] [AD,S]

Ingrid Goes West- (2017)
00:20 - 01:20 - 5*
0.0/10 Stars

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It's Single White Female for the smartphone generation as troubled thirtysomething Aubrey Plaza latches onto LA influencer Elizabeth Olsen... and won't let go. Dark comedy. (2017)(95 mins) Also in HD

Jimi: All Is by My Side- (2013)
00:25 - 02:15 - BBC 2
0.0/10 Stars

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Biopic about rock star Jimi Hendrix's early years in 1966 and 1967, between the Cheetah Club in New York and London, until his triumph in Monterey. [HD] [2013] [S]

The Green Inferno- (2013)
00:35 - 02:35 - Horror Channel
0.0/10 Stars

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Infamous horror by Eli Roth (Hostel). A group of students travelling the Amazon rainforest soon discover they are being hunted by some very hungry cannibals. (2013)

Games That Lovers Play- (0)
01:05 - 02:45 - Talking Pictures
0.0/10 Stars

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1971. Directed by Malcolm Leigh. Two 'Madams' Joanna Lumley as 'Fanny Hill' and Penny Brahms as 'Lady Chatterley' have a wager as to who has the best brothel.

Oblivion- (2013)
01:05 - 02:35 - ITV 4
6.4/10 Stars

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A repairman is assigned to salvage the remaining resources from Earth, which has been left a devastated wasteland after a war with an alien race. He discovers a human survivor on the surface of the planet, an encounter that exposes secrets from the past that threaten the future of the human race. Sci-fi adventure, starring Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman.

#Horror- (2015)
01:45 - 03:40 - Film 4
0.0/10 Stars

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(2015) FilmFear: Satirical horror featuring Chloe Sevigny. A killer prowls while six social-media-obsessed, phone-addicted 12-year-old girls are partying. Strong language/gory violence.

Rogue- (2007)
02:35 - 04:30 - Horror Channel
6.0/10 Stars

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A boat captain taking a group of tourists on a trip through the Australian Outback is persuaded to travel into uncharted part of the river, where they soon become grounded. The travellers then discover they have strayed into the territory of a ferocious crocodile and face a battle for survival. Thriller, starring Radha Mitchell, Michael Vartan and Sam Worthington.